thus begins my tale of this year’s burning man. it will come in installments until i am done.
the crucible
prologue
at the outset i will say that 2006 was quite a different burning man for me. it was far more than simply my sophomoric adventure on the playa.
i’d suckled my memories from last year month after month as i endured a seemingly endless deluge of life atrocities. the idea of the event was my light at the end of the horrific tunnel. it was the orgasm you dream of at the beginning of a flirtation that is going terribly wrong.
i also brought a much different person this year.
me.
the me hemorrhaging through the divorce with jinx, ending a 10-year love affair and a lifetime of expectations. the me selling incense cottage, our beautiful forest hideaway. the me who had already given his notice at work, ready to make the day i got back my final foray into pointless mediocrity. the me starving in my self-imposed isolation. the me trying to separate the vibrant, forgotten core from the chaff of illusion. the me desperate for both bacchanalia and introspection.
last year i was eager, excited and scared, but uninitiated. i was like a five-year-old child at disneyland for the first time, going into fantasyland with the reliable support and companionship of my guide dbug. this year, i embraced the chance to fly solo, to be forced to interact with others, to see what it was like to burn even hotter with only an internal safety. if last year was basic training, this year was my field survival test.
in 2005, i was an overawed spectator doing my best to learn the ropes of participation. in 2006, i was a participant before i even got there.
it was bound to be different this time.
